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Your site is so great, it makes researching the business sooo much easier having all the info in one place! thankyou thankyou thankyou.
Amada, aspiring actress, Sydney, Australia


Hi Tony!
Most people don’t even take the time to tell a person how to reach their goal. I want to thank you for everything and for responding to my messages. Sometimes I just test people to see if they really care about my career and you do. You can continue to send me some tips on how I can accomplish my goals, because you inspire me a lot. Thank you for caring.
Jeffrey, Dallas, TX


Hi Tony!
Just wanted to say that this site is FANTASTIC! It's helped me quite a bit and it's now my #1 bookmarked item, which means I'm going to be visiting here regularly :) Thanks again,
Rob, aspiring actor, Canada


I absolutely love your site - it's SOOOO helpful and very impressive!
I am a frequent visitor and have signed up for the newsletter, plus I think it's so good I have recommended it to all my acting friends! Thank you for creating such a wonderful website!
Mischa, UK


Wow Tony! I would just like to comment on how much you have affected my life.
First of all, any questions I have are answered extremely fast, and not only that, you give me a very helpful answer every time. Also, by reading your newsletters, I obtain just the right information that I need to succeed in the acting business. I am so happy I discovered your site, and I hope you know how much we actors appreciate you. Thanks again, and I can't wait to read your next newsletter!
Laura Doukas, Actress


I did what you said and…I got two interviews with two agents! Thank you! Sorry but can I ask you…how do I prepare to go meet the agent? What do I have to do?
Marsha P., New York, NY, USA


This site has taught me a lot that I needed to know without dragging me all over the place.
Lauren, actress, Atlanta, GA

How To Convince My Parents:
part II

After the information I gave you on the previous page in answer to your question, ”How To Convince My Parents” part I that you want an acting career, you need to think about HOW to present to your parents.

First, gathering information and your overall preparation is only part of it, even though it is a very important part, but there are two other things you need to do.

1) put yourself in your parents' shoes and ask yourself what would you do if you were them? How would you think if you were them? Why do they feel so strongly about not wanting you to go into acting? You need to know that before you put together your argument.

2) there is something else, which has to do with the way you present your argument. There is a process I use that follows these steps:

How To Convince My Parents
Title: used to get their attention. It's your first line: "I have a surprise for you." or "I found out something that you will want to know." or "I decided I don't want to be an actress anymore." It has to be something true, but that will get their attention and make them first and foremost want to listen to you.

How To Convince My Parents
Background: It means putting them and you on the same level of information. This is where you give some facts about the present situation. For example that you know full well that they don’t want you to become an actress. If you truly put yourself in their shoes, you will also be able to tell them that you empathize with them and that you understand why they feel that way. It is also where you will be able to tell them some negative things about the acting industry that you are fully aware of, i.e. that the average actor only makes $6,000 per year and that most actors must support themselves with day jobs before they can make a living at it. Or that the majority of actors never get that big break all their lives. You can find more of them on my home page: .

Let them know that you know these things.

How To Convince My Parents
Problem: The problem with jumping into an industry in which you have no experience and that doesn’t have such a rosy picture attached to it, could very well be a problem for you in your future; especially if you give up your studies in college and opt to become an actor full time (I don’t know how old you are and if that scenario is realistic for you or not, so please bear with me and take what you can from what I’m writing).

What’s important here is that you let them know that you have matured and that you are looking at this from an adult point of view, taking into consideration all the risks.

How To Convince My Parents
Your Proposal: Now that you have set it up, now you are ready to ask for what you want. But…before you go and tell them you want to become an actress…again, break it down a little. First of all, if you have never studied acting, taken an acting class, never gotten work as an actor don’t know what it is really like to be an actor, because you haven’t done it yet, then you yourself really don’t know 100% if that is really what you want to do. Stay with me on this.

Have a look at the following pages:
about what a typical day in the life of an actor could look like.
about ways to make money.
about dealing with rejection.
to have some examples of some scams to watch out for.
about what you can expect from auditions.

So instead of going for all the marbles at once and saying that you want to become an actress, why not do it one step at a time? Why not get their consensus to be able to go take a class first. Ease into it. To explain why, connect it to your field of study. For example if they want you to go into a profession that will have you in contact with a lot of people, acting classes can benefit you a lot and give you a great deal of self-confidence. You might be considering becoming a lawyer. Acting classes can help you tremendously. For some more benefits, have a look at the following page:

At any rate, you are not asking them for the world, but just the opportunity to be able to explore a new hobby. Tell them that after having thought about it, they might be right. Maybe it is better to go into another field, but at least that you would like to be able to explore it. That’s all. Twice a week, at such and such a cost. That’s all you’re asking for.

You can tell them that you will continue to go to school and study what you would in a traditional world (which I highly recommend, so that you will have something to fall back on) and that you will just start to explore the world of acting on the side.

How To Convince My Parents
Proof: Once you have done that, you should have some examples ready of some people you know or who you know of who have done what you are suggesting. It would be even better if you can name people who they also know. If not, just find the information you can. What’s important here is that they see that you have thought this through in a very mature way. And take every opportunity during your little “presentation” to let them know you understand their point of view.

Put together a plan, have it all ironed out, how much it will cost, how you will get to class, when you will get your homework done if you have acting class twice per week. Show them that you have already visited the school, talked to the teacher, seen the studio where you will study, Know how long classes last, both each evening as well as for how many weeks or months.

Let them know that even you think that this is the best way, so that even you can start to see whether or not you like it. And assure them that no matter what, you will finish your studies.

How To Convince My Parents
Conclusion: Go over once again, very briefly, as if in a review, each of the steps, making reference to them:
Title: “So you see, I really have decided not to continue saying that I want to become an actress, because the fact is, I just don’t know yet.”
Background: “I’ve been doing a lot of research and I have found out a lot of things that I didn’t know like the things I told you before. (Briefly mention them again.)
Problem: “I’ve decided to try and put myself in your shoes and I realize now that it could be a problem if I just throw myself into acting without realizing what I’m getting myself into; especially now that I know that the average actor doesn’t make much money! I’m glad I listened to you!”
Proposal: “So that’s why I think it’s better to just start off taking a class to see how I like it. Also, hanging around some other actors and people who have the same interests, I might learn some more things that might make me like it more or less. At least I will be able to satisfy my burning curiosity.”
Proof: “I know it’s possible to continue to study and go to class. The people I have mentioned did it and I know that if they did, I can too. I think I have covered all bases too? Do you think I have missed anything?”

How To Convince My Parents
Plan Of Action: This is really important! Don’t finish your well-thought out presentation by not saying anything or by saying “So, what do you think?” Close it properly. Doing that means by suggesting some plan of action. For example, “So if you guys are ok with it, I will sign up for the next class that starts _____.” Or “I’d like to take you to visit the school tomorrow evening. I aleady contacted the teacher and she is willing to meet with you.” Or “Class starts next Tuesday evening, if it’s ok, I will sign up tomorrow and you can go with me…”

You must suggest some plan of action.

And that’s it!

Now, remember that it is really important that you put yourself in their shoes and try to really understand why it is that they don’t want you to go into acting. You should NOT be saying to yourself, “I THINK they don’t want me to go into acting, because…” Or “It’s PROBABLY because…” You should know for sure. The only way to find out for sure is to hear it come out of your parent’s mouths. Only once you know the true answer to that question, can you be in a position to have a good chance of convincing them.

The last thing is that this answer, the answer I gave you before or other answers you might have received from other people will work or might not work, but it really depends on a lot of different factors. After all this, you might find that it doesn’t work, because your parents just won’t hear it. Could be. It could also be that maybe it will take time. You might keep chipping away at it over time until maybe a year down the road, you get the chance to take a class. I don’t know you. I don’t know your parents and I don’t know your situation.

I’m sure that your parents have your best interests at heart, so once again, try and understand what they are thinking and why they want for you what they want.

So to finish, how about some positive self-talk:
"To convince my parents, I need to first and foremost be PREPARED."
"To convince my parents, I need to be INFORMED."
"To convince my parents, I need to KNOW MORE THAN THEY DO about the acting industry and what it means to be an actor."
"To convince my parents, I need to UNDERSTAND WHY THEY DON'T WANT ME TO GO INTO ACTING."
"To convince my parents, I will have a much better chance if I HAVE A STRUCTURED FORMAT FOR MY COMMUNICATION."
"To convince my parents, I should realize that I MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO CONVINCE THEM WITH JUST THIS ONE PRESENTATION. It could very well take days, weeks, months or yes, maybe even years!"

You should look at this as a first try. Don't think that you will do this presentation and that will be the end of it. Showing them that you are serious, that you continue to study the industry, inform yourself, ask questions, go to free seminars, read books, research on the internet, etc. will show them over time, just how serious you are and how important to you having an acting career really is.

Good luck and I would love to hear some feedback as to how this part of How To Convince My Parents works for you!

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